A Personal Year-End Reflection
Creativity, Failure, and Becoming
It’s almost the end of the year 2025, and I honestly can’t even begin to fathom how it went by so fast. So much happened, sometimes all at once, and other times quietly in the background.
This year came with its fair share of ups and downs. There were sad moments and happy ones. I made mistakes and learned from them. I took decisions—some good, some not so good—but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Every choice, every misstep, taught me something I didn’t know I needed.
More than anything, this year taught me about myself and the people around me. It opened my eyes and gave me a deeper understanding of things I probably wouldn’t have grasped without experiencing them firsthand. It has been a lot. Truly. An eventful year in every sense of the word.
I know I’ve said this to myself—and even shared it here—that I want to be more consistent with content creation and take it to a certain level. But if I’m being honest, my perfectionism and procrastination have been holding me back more than I’d like to admit. I keep waiting for the perfect time, the perfect idea, the perfect execution, and in doing so, I end up doing nothing.
I have so many creative things I want to explore, but I’ve realized that in most cases, I don’t give myself enough time to truly try before giving up. I start with excitement, then doubt creeps in, and before I know it, I’ve talked myself out of continuing.
Crocheting is a good example. I started it purely for fun. At the time, I was teaching, so whenever I had free moments, I’d crochet. Somewhere along the line, I decided to turn it into a brand of my own. At first, I wasn’t even focused on sales. My social media views were high—thousands of views, even—and as someone still finding her footing online, that was enough for me.
Those views became my motivation. They pushed me to keep going with my crochet business. But when the views dropped, everything else started to unravel. I began doubting my skills, my videos, and even the effort I put into creating the pieces. On top of that, sales were barely coming in, and slowly, discouragement took over.
The last straw was when I applied to be a vendor at a pop-up in December 2023. After all the money, time, and effort I invested, I made just one sale—a beanie for five thousand naira. Watching everything I put into that pop-up feel like it went to waste broke something in me. Without even realizing it, I slowly stopped working on the business.
It’s the same pattern with content creation. Whenever I start posting and the views don’t meet my expectations, I retreat. I shut myself away from it, and the truth is, it’s eating me up inside. I want to create. I want to show up. But disappointment has a way of silencing me before I even give myself a fair chance.
I’ve noticed that I often shy away from the things I love because the fear of losing is already there, even before I begin. I’m afraid of failing publicly. Afraid of trying and not being good enough. Afraid of putting my heart into something and feeling like it didn’t matter.
Still, I know I’m growing. I’m evolving. I’m learning to sit with discomfort instead of running from it. I’m learning that consistency doesn’t mean perfection and that slow progress is still progress. And despite everything, I’m learning to love every piece of who I’m becoming—even the parts that are still figuring things out.
Maybe next year won’t be about everything working out perfectly. Maybe it will simply be about showing up anyway, even when it’s messy, even when it’s scary. And maybe, just maybe, that will be enough.
If you’re also navigating fear, inconsistency, or starting over, you’re not alone. Leave a comment or subscribe—let’s grow through this together.